Military Wife and Mom Manages An Army of Kids and the Home Finances, Too

When I first married my husband, Brian, he was a captain in the U.S. Army stationed outside Kansas City. He was organized, thorough in all he did, and a saver of money! However, I couldn’t say the same for myself. I was an elementary school teacher and lived paycheck to paycheck. Once we were married, Brian paid all the bills and the money I earned teaching was all mine. Then, our first child and first move came. At that time, we still didn’t feel the need to sit down and discuss money. I didn’t work since we knew we would only be at that base for one year and our daughter was under one. Then, we moved again, this time for 18 months, and also added a baby boy to our family. Again, I wasn’t working out of the house and that was okay. If there was something I wanted to purchase, I asked Brian and usually got it.

However, that all changed when he deployed for the second time. During his first deployment, we were only dating; now we were married with two kids, one on the way, and we were a single-income family. We sat down and started writing out all our monthly bills on paper. We kept track of EVERYTHING—from the mortgage to a $2 Coke from a drive-thru. This is a great way to see your spending patterns and learn where you can save. I also began using coupons, shopping at grocery stores that gave discounts on gasoline, packing lunches for the family, and got a Sam’s Club membership. I even started buying toys on sale and storing them in the basement for future birthdays and holidays. We also make sure to “pay ourselves” first. Money goes in savings, IRAs, and children’s college funds at the beginning of the month, forcing us to only spend what is left.

My biggest challenge, and that of most military spouses, is that we have to do everything solo when a spouse is deployed. It is a lot of work! It’s like being a single parent but with extra stresses. I do his chores as well as mine. Worrying about the “what ifs” is a lot for one person to handle. Who is going to mow the lawn when I’m eight months pregnant? What am I going to do, knowing he won’t be in the delivery room when another child comes along? How will I manage with a four year old, two year old, and infant if something were to happen to my husband? In the end, it all works out because you just do the job you have to do.

Now, with our fourth child born in November 2011 and my husband deploying to Afghanistan in early 2012, I will again be managing the finances and household myself. I will continue to discount shop and get gasoline at the cheapest price. I’ll pack sack lunches so we don’t eat out too much. And I’ll watch what we spend each month. Living on one income can be difficult, but it’s doable. It’s a bit of a challenge, but I’ve gotten enough practice at it and now consider myself an expert!